CDs and phone calls

I'm so frustrated.

I get frustrated way to easily.

I have this image in my mind of how think things should go or how people should act.

When this image does not become reality, I become disappointed and ,yes,..... frustrated.

I feel like an idiot but what's new these past few weeks?

Mamma Mia and Venus Fly Traps

Who in the hell made the movie Mamma Mia?

From about minute 2, I knew this was going to be a long movie. I was embarrased watching it in the theatre with 70 women and 2 guys. (1 of those 2 was my dad) Needless to say, we left early. I turned and looked at my mom and said "Seriously, are we really going to stay?"

My dad said he felt like he was walking out of a dirty movie and almost stayed for the whole movie. No matter how I felt I could NOT have sat all the way through mamma mia. Ugh!

I was at starbucks today and all around the store were venus fly traps. They were much smaller than I expected. In my imagination they're huge and are a threat to humans. But to my relief, they are actually the size of a quarter and not quite as dangerous as I would have imagined. They did do their job though... there were quite a few dead flies that had met their doom. i want one.

"Nice trip, see ya next fall"

Due to my random annoyance with my family and their every movement, I decided to run outside instead of the treadmill.

I do not run outside.

Well at least not in the summer. One word... snakes. I have given those horrible reptiles quite a bit of control over my schedule. But my annoyance outweighed my unrealistic fear that all snakes are after ME.

I had a good stride going and as I was looking up in the trees, something caught my eye. To my right was a roadkilled bunny or something like that. It was beyond animal recognition. After seeing that sight, I got a burst of energy, looked down, and booked it away. Only, right when i looked down after running a few feet I see a little bunny organ and almost lost my lunch, which would have been a shame considering I went to get a falafel pita for lunch at this super sketch middle eastern deli.

Ok, so I'm running again. Theres a hill on my route. It may not look like a hill when you're driving on it but when you are running up or down it then you know the truth. So I'm making my way down the hill and about half way down, apparently I forgot to pick up my feet...

Then my world switched into slow motion. My equilibrium was gone. My feet were scrambling to make this not end in pain. My arms were decided where they should be with an impending fall. "Why is this hill so much more steep than usual?"

For a moment I thought I was in this clear, no fall, no pain. But then slow motion stopped and I flipped into super speed and was flat on my stomach on the asphalt. Of course I got up as quickly as any person who did something so stupid and funny to watch. I ran and looked around... "Is there anyone who could have possibly seen that?" Luckily, no one was even close. So since there was no drive by to laugh at my expense, I will allow you.

New Day

Why is it so hard to forgive?

Or maybe it is easy to forgive but seemingly impossible to forget.

I guess i just need help but more important, time.

Time to let go and give up my hurt.

I start today.........

Life Learned

Life is so sweet. Right now I'm making faces at a 4 year old who is smiling at me with the biggest smile and imitating me. I stick my toung out and she sticks her tounge out. I puff up my cheeks and she does the same. She prances, not walks, all around panera. What simple, innocent admiration and imitation. ( I just watched her run through the grass outside and trip, standing up and becoming all smiles again. haha)


So back to what I was going to write before isabelle showed up. (her parents said her name) This has been a crazy month of my life. I have never cried so much or been so upset by so many different things. Regardless of that, I don't look back with many depressed thoughts. I wish none of the crap would have happened but I've learned life. I have learn that life is hard, not fair, and kicks you in the butt. Relationships with people let you down. The constant, as usual, is God's faithfullness. I would be forever broken without grace. What heaps of it I've been given over the past 4 weeks! While people let you down, I am so thankful for those that have managed to become a part of my life.

random

In DC, and counting down the days till I'm in Saint Joseph, Michigan.

New Death Cab CD out today.... I'm going to buy some music today. I have come to dislike all 1,200 songs on my ipod. (harrison's music haha)

My sister graduates today... wish i could be there to celebrate.

V for Victory, W for Wedding

My sweet sister is getting married and I couldn't be happier. She deserves to have the most beautiful, whimsical, lovely wedding a girl could have. Mae just got her dress and it's beautiful! I haven't seen it on her but I can imagine. What a joy it will be to have showers and parties and tea times of planning. I'm so excited for this wedding and will do everything in my power to help make it the most magical day of her life!

Deaf

I can be quite self destructive at times... and maybe I don't want to stop!

Things I learned last week:
-Reggae praise music makes me want to be deaf
-Incense is revolting when paired with the above
-I don't feel the least bit stupid singing and dancing like zoo animals in front of 20 people.
-Diet Coke makes you fat.... (according to the Dental Hygenists of CPCC)

I think I can handle the next two days of wedding-ness if I believe that it is a trial that will somehow build character. I'm all about the character building. : ) I've learned an insane amount of ugly truth about myself this week. I'm glad that crap is coming up so that I am tested to see what I'm like under pressure. I think I'm going to make it kind of a game, this whole being like Jesus thing. I enjoy competition with myself so this could work.

All in a sunday....

Seven year old, Noah, walks into the K5-1st class with his hand covering his mouth. Through his fingers I can see the discoloration around his mouth. After asking him if he wanted to play with play-doh he realized that playdoh playing requires two hands. He lowers his hand from his mouth and I see purple- a perfect purple circle around his little mouth. My sister inquires if he drank something purple and he says no. Noah told us how he was sucking on a cup and it got stuck on his face. It takes experience in life to know that you simply breath out to get the cup off instead of continuing to suck. By the time he got the cup off, he had a nice circle bruise around is lips. I'm sure he begged his mother not to make him go to church, but I'm so glad he came. That little purple face has made me smile for weeks.

"This is a rhino" he said, holding up an animal cracker. "Yup" I lied as clearly he was holding up a cat. This proceeded for the next 5 crackers. A dog. No, actually a donkey. A bear. No, a camel. Yes, they are small cookies but a bear does not have a big hump on it's back. A rhino does not have pointy ears and a tail. A dog does not look like a horse. Oh well, why crush his pride so young? : ))

Goodness, I am such a girl. What was I thinking, turning on Steel Magnolias? Steel Magnolias is one of the greatest chick flicks. Love, weddings, life threatening diseases- Steel Magnolias has it all. I lost it while watching the last 20 minutes. I had to stop running on the treadmill because I couldn't see past my tears. I like to say I'm not emotional but you watch that movie and try to hold it together!

In a moment of stupidity I deleted my last two posts.

Me and my dad had an interesting conversation today about the salvation of the world. Ya know, just a normal car ride convo. It got me questioning so much. I know these questions are ones that have plagued christians, and really people of all religions. I understand we live in a fallen world but I feel like that explanation can cover everything. I think I'm going to set my mind to the truth that I can't understand everything. I can barely understand college algebra, let alone the creator of college algebra and all mathematics.

I have to go see a movie! till next time

24/7

What a sweet day it has been. Leaving school today, I contemplated whether or not to go downtown to a local ministry called 24/7. I called my brother who encouraged me to go. I walked into the warehouse to find a dimly lit room with soft worship music playing in the backround. A large open area meets you as you walk in,furnished with couches and a rocking chair or two. On the opposite side of the room there are what seems to be about 10 or 15 little booths with curtain doors. At first I thought nobody was there but then I saw Sandra (not her real name but I couldn't remember) sitting there. She came over and showed me all around. The ministry has many different facets. I was in the prayer room ( more prayer warehouse) which was designed to set up an environment in which you can meet with God. Each one of the "booths" has a different "theme" or purpose. Ranging from praying for Darfur or local criminals to praying to recieve peace or forgiveness. I heard stories about how many people have had experiences with God in this place.

After being shown all around and having been told all about this place, I met with the director, Lisa. (yes, that is her real name... I can't remember everyones name)She told me about opportunities to serve and volunteer my time and skills. She told me about the Justice Project which is a ministry geared toward showing the radical love of Christ. Whether it's through paving roofs, buying washing machines, or providing a shoulder to cry on, they are all about generosity and love. They picked a neighborhood within the city to focus their efforts. By the end of the meeting I was offered a job, fulltime or part time, serving the innercity community! I was floored that I could be paid to do what I love to do! I left there floating and thinking about just how good God is. He turned a meeting that I was very reluctant to go to and turned it into something amazing. I'm not saying I'll take the job or anything but I'll definitely pray about it.

Schedule

I hope this week goes by quickly. I want my parents to be home and I'm really ready for Shawn to be here. I know that before I know it, it'll be Saturday and all will be well. But i guess just right now that seems like a long time away. Another week of working out, school, work, dinner making, and everything else that goes on. Oh how bittersweet my new found consistency in schedule is.

Ok ok, I'll write again. Hopefully this will be the start of weeks of consistent blogging.

I have to go roast a chicken so till next time.....